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Snow Day

Randi Chervitz

Updated: Jan 15

An Artist Ponders the Meaning of Label Limitations

The peace of freshly fallen snow.  https://unsplash.com/@hideobara
The peace of freshly fallen snow. https://unsplash.com/@hideobara

As I sat in my bedroom this morning listening to the news, I heard that we’ve had the most snow in St. Louis in January since 2014.  I am aware of the devastation happening in the current California wildfires.  I am not insensitive to the infernal carnage there.  (You can do you part to help here. )  Gratefully, I look out the window at the peaceful, insulating whiteness.  I am in a fresh and beautiful place, geographically and spiritually.


In the past few weeks, I’ve found myself re-examining my relationship to my creativity. This is partly a function of year-end, a time when I wrap up my business books and try to assess if I’ve spent my time intelligently.  But there is an undeniable emotional component this year that I need to unwind for my own understanding.


I’ve come to feel that I’m no longer in the early stages of being a “mid-career artist.”  I don’t think I’ve run fully to the end into “old crone artist” territory yet, or whatever they call us in the twilight of our creative years; I’ll be 57 in March.  I like to think I’m in the middle of the middle.

The Maiden, the Mother, and the Crone, each symbolize a separate stage in the female life cycle and a phase of the Moon.  Photo by Content Pixie on Unsplash.
The Maiden, the Mother, and the Crone, each symbolize a separate stage in the female life cycle and a phase of the Moon. Photo by Content Pixie on Unsplash.

Years ago, when I turned 40, I realized I needed to make some creative changes.  I was wrestling with a story I had always told myself: I really meant to be a fashion designer, not a jeweler. Well, I thought: if that was what I truly believed, I had best get on with it.  I got to work.


I took a job in a busy alterations department at a nearby department store.  I wasn’t doing the actual alterations; I was running the day-to-day of the shop: checking garments in, distributing them to the seamstresses and tailors, pressing and prepping finished garments for delivery, ordering supplies.  The seamstresses there mothered me, soothing my dry nerves from years of emotional drought due to my “mother issues.”  (These issues are NOT due to my own mother, who raised me with great love, affection and opportunity.  The issues are a story for another day.)


I loved this job.  I discovered I loved working in service to the women and men who did such beautiful work, who performed their work with dedication, as both a science and an art.


Photo by Kateryna Hliznitsova, https://unsplash.com/@kate_gliz.
Photo by Kateryna Hliznitsova, https://unsplash.com/@kate_gliz.

I admired their skills as well as their courage.  Many of them had left their home countries years before, immigrating to the US seeking opportunity and, in some cases, safety.  I couldn’t imagine what they had to give up to obtain the privilege I was born to- in fact, I was the only native-born US citizen in the shop.


In the face of such profound life experience, I felt humbled.  The challenges I faced in my jewelry studio paled in comparison.  I began to question my self-image as an independent artist. Was making it “on my own” really the greatest expression of my life purpose? Tentatively, then more fully, I embraced the role of behind-the-scenes support.


I remained in that alterations shop for two years, after which I began my graduate program. Two years later, I earned an MS in Fashion Business and Entrepreneurship.  My course of study opened my eyes to new ideas and gave me confidence in what I already knew.  I’ve since added formal studies in jewelry appraisal and gemology to my plate, and I continue to follow fashion, if not design my own pieces (yet).

 

I guess it doesn’t really matter what stage of my career I’m in.  Letting go of an old self-image frees me to create without boundaries.  I will find my way my way, in whatever medium suits the moment.  It's a privilege I am fortunate to experience.


Thanks for joining me on my journey.

-xo


Photo by Dino Reichmuth on Unsplash.
Photo by Dino Reichmuth on Unsplash.

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